This is the second and final deleted scene for Next to Never. Not terribly important for the pacing of the book, but just a little extra Kat and Jase. This would take place when Jared was still a baby.

JASE…

“The presents were too much,” Kat said as I wrapped my arms around her shoulders. “I can buy him things, you know? I have a job.”

“I know,” I told her, burying my nose in her hair.

We stood in the park where a light layer of snow covered the grass. Jared tried climbing the steps of the jungle gym. Christmas was a few days ago, and the park was nearly empty.

It seemed like time was flying. He was walking now, Kat’s divorce was final and she was in school, going for her accounting degree, and Maddie had taken our son to Hawaii with her parents.

“I care about him,” I admitted. “I’m not trying to use him to keep you. I want him to have the best.”

I saw him more than I saw my own kid these days. Besides the few moments in the morning before I had to leave, he was either gone or asleep when I was home. Even if I had a free day, Maddie had made plans and taken him off somewhere. If I got home early, it would only be a matter of minutes before she decided they had an errand to run. She wasn’t trying to keep him from me. I knew that.

She just didn’t want to be around me. I’d given up a long time ago, and she finally had as well. 

I could’ve gone on the trip to Hawaii and spent time with Madoc. I’d wanted to. But Maddie asked me to stay home, and so I squeezed Kat in my arms, because I felt like shit and she was the only thing I had to hang on to.

My wife had caught onto me. Our marriage was in trouble before Kat, but the wedge between us was an abyss now, and she did almost anything she could to avoid me.

The part that gutted me was that I didn’t really care. I wanted my kid, but I wanted Kat, too. I hated to admit it, but I was relieved when Maddie told me not to come. I didn’t have to put on a mask, because now we were just going through the motions.

But I did have some truths to face.

My behavior was a mistake, and the continuation of my marriage was wrong.  

And I was in love with Kat, and I was a terrible father.  

So why wasn’t I making the decisions I needed to make? Why was I so afraid to leave what was familiar, even if I was miserable, for what was unknown? 

“That’s something I want to talk about,” Kat says in a serious tone, turning around to face me.

“What?”

“I don’t want Jared to grow up confused about you,” she stated. “I don’t think you should just come by whenever you want anymore.”

I tensed.

“He’s getting to know your face,” she explained. “I don’t want him to see you around and be old enough to remember. Old enough to miss you when you’re not there and wonder why you have to leave to go to your real family.”

I blinked long and hard and let her go, nodding. Fine.

It made sense, didn’t it?

But the anger still built in my chest, because she was cutting me off, too.  

“I’ll try to be more discreet,” I said in a clipped tone.

I started to turn away, but she grabbed the lapels of my jacket, holding me in place.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I answered, kissing her forehead. “I’ve got to go. Merry Christmas.”

“Hey.” She pulled me back, making me look at her. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not giving you up. You’re trying to protect your family, and I’m trying to protect mine. It’s a two-way street.”

I caressed her cheek, rosy from the winter air, and tucked her hair behind her ear. “I know.”

She leaned into my hand, and I could barely contain the need firing in my body. This girl had me completely wound into knots.

“I want to spend the night tonight,” I whispered to her.

Her eyes dropped to the snow, but I saw a little smile peek out. She turned around and pulled my arms around her again, snuggling close.

“You’re cold,” I said, feeling her body shake.

“No. Just thinking that Buffy the Vampire Slayer is on tonight, and I’m going to make you watch it.”

My chest shook with a silent laugh, loving the mischief in her voice. It was a rare occasion when I could stay over, and tonight we could just enjoy being with each other.

“As long as I can take you in for a nice long shower afterward, then I’ll play along,” I assured. 

Buffy. Sometimes I forgot she was still so young. ‘Course, so was I, I guessed.

I looked out, seeing Jared walking around the jungle gym. I’d given him a soccer ball as one of his gifts, but it laid abandoned in the snow. I guessed he wasn’t going to be much into sports, more interested in climbing a contraption he was still too little for.

“I wish he was yours,” she said suddenly, watching him.

And I kissed her hair, letting out a sigh. “Someday he will be.”

****

Thanks for reading, everyone. Hope you are enjoying the book, and I look forward to getting the new series to you <3

This is one of three deleted scenes I have for Next to Never! The first one, the prologue, is already available under the Extras tab, and the third one I’ll give you this Friday.

Some of you may remember this convo, but here’s the entire scene written out. It was only deleted from the final book, because we needed to get the word count down to be able to fit Aflame and Next to Never in the paperback coming in May.

Enjoy!! (This isn’t really a spoiler if you haven’t read the novella yet, but if you have, it takes place before Dylan picks Quinn up to go to Juliet’s and then the Loop.)

QUINN

I grabbed a wedge of sandwich from the plate in the fridge and walked over to my mother’s desk, built into the wall of the kitchen, and sat down in front of her laptop.

I couldn’t imagine Googling was going to give me much help, considering it was a particularly relative question, but—

“Addie made a platter of sandwiches, so eat up, and let’s go.”

All three of my brothers had rushed into the kitchen and they began rummaging through the fridge.

Oh, great. The quiet was nice while it lasted. Addie oversees my father’s household as well as Madoc’s, with help of course, and she probably made him his own platter of sandwiches, but no doubt Kade, Hunter, and their friends cleaned him out.

Which, I guess, is why he, Jared, and Jax swung by here to mooch off our food in their rush to get to the track on time.

I try to tune out their noise as I bring up the Internet, but the fridge opens and closes several times and they keep slamming the cabinets shut.

Once I decide it’s useless, I stop and twist around in my seat, looking at them.   “Hey, can I ask you guys a question?”

“Mmm hmm…” Jared replies, taking the pickles off the sandwiches.

“Yeah, what is it?” Madoc asks.

“Well, it’s kind of personal.” I sit up straight and curl up on my leg, sitting on my foot.

They continue on their food mission, stuffing sandwiches in their mouths while standing at the counter.

“Well, um…” I swallow the awkwardness that tries to creep up. “I kind of wanted to know…what does sex feel like for a man?”

Every single one of them stops and stares at me. It’s all I can do not to laugh.

Jared goes stiff, looking uncomfortable, while Madoc’s mouth hangs open in mid-chew and Jax’s eyebrows damn-near touch his hairline.

“Um…” Jax looks to the other guys like he’s at a loss for words.

But it’s Madoc who recovers quickest. “Well, it feels like…” and his gaze drifts up as if thinking before he nods and says, “warm apple pie.”

Jax snorts and Jared shoots him a disgusted look. “Don’t be an idiot,” he sneers at Madoc and then looks to me. “And you don’t need to know that yet.”

“I’m seventeen,” I point out. “You’re telling me you guys were virgins at my age?”

Madoc laughs and rounds the island, coming to sit at the table. “Come on, man,” he tells Jared. “She’s practice for Dylan. You’re going to have to deal with this sooner or later.”

Jared strolls over, avoiding my eyes, and sits down. “It feels good, alright? Is that what you wanted to know?”

“Yeah. It feels…really good,” Madoc adds.

And then Jax nods, carrying his bowl over and standing close. “Yeah, really good.”

“Good?” I mock. “That’s it? Come on, guys. I can’t ask Dad. And I’m not going to ask Hawke. He’s a year younger, and I’m not having him educate me on that stuff.”

Jax freezes, a spoonful of pasta salad halfway between the bowl and his mouth. “Hawke’s having sex?” he asks, and I momentarily wonder if I’ve gotten my nephew in trouble.

Honestly I don’t know if he’s having sex, but Jax looks a little freaked out as he sets his bowl and fork down with a clang. “Fuck, I gotta go.”

He leaves the room, and I turn my eyes on Jared, pinning him with a stare.

“Why do you want to know?” he questions me.

“Because I’m curious. I want to know what men like.”

“Everything,” he shoots back, stacking three sandwiches on top of each other. “And you can find out in college. After college. When you’re married. Not in high school.” He glares at me. “Understand? Every single high school guy is an asshole. Every single one. I promise.”

“Hey,” Madoc whines, looking insulted. “I have two boys in high school.” 

But Jared simply looks at Madoc, arches an eyebrow, and then meets my eyes again. “Every. Single. One. Got it?”

I let out a sigh and bury my face in my hands. Is it so hard to answer a question without jumping into Protect Mode? I’m not looking to get laid! I just want information, and every time I try to stretch my boundaries, Jared snaps like a rubber band, bringing me back into the circle.

“What’s wrong, Quinnie?” I hear Madoc ask.

But frustration is burning a hole in my stomach. “Don’t call me that. I’m not a baby anymore.” And I take a deep breath, looking anywhere but at them.

“Are you having problems?” he guages. “Because I’m going to tell you, you’re beautiful, so any issues are theirs. Not yours.”

I shake my head. “No. I just want to know… If a man saw me for the first time, would he think I was beautiful the way you guys think Tate and Fallon are beautiful?”

Jared and Madoc exchange looks and then Jared’s eyes darken as he studies me. “A man?”

I close my eyes, groaning. That’s the one word he focused on from that? I can tell already this is going nowhere. Madoc is Mr. Positive, thinking he needs to boost my self-esteem, and Jared is like a guard dog, pacing his cage and waiting for an opportunity to sic.

I stand up, leaving my sandwich next to the computer. “Never mind. I can’t talk to you guys about this.”